Dealing with Unreasonable People at Work



Some people love to bring others down and make them as unhappy as they are.

They get a hit, a fix, a buzz out of upsetting others. Its like an addiction to drama, and chaos.

Your job is to not get in the ring.

Always remember ‘misery loves company’.

Unreasonable and difficult people are often insecure, angry, resentful, unhappy people who lack self – esteem and The Confidence Factor and can’t bear to see others happy and thriving.

Don’t let them drag you into their miserable world.

It’s important to pick your battles.

The four most common tactics to be aware of are;

  1. When they are being charming
  2. When they are being cruel
  3. When they are being withdrawn
  4. When they are being self- piteous

Dont ever take their behaviour personally. It’s NEVER about you. They bring all their historic issues into the present moment and dump them over anyone they percieve as being weak.

It’s crucial you understand this, otherwise you may react and end up in  a conflict.

Unreasonable, difficult people love to upset people….. DON’T fight and DON’T react.

Lack of skills, lack of insight, insecurity, and incompetence turns people into difficult personalities…

I understand too well if you keep bumping up against these people at work, sure you don’t want to lose your job but you can’t spend your life living in fear..

Stay calm, unemotional, detached and objective… 

Get to the place where you can use humour to respond and then you know you have cracked it

Always take notes as that way difficult people will think twice before they mess with you

Remember they need an audience and a scene.

Do not join in, don’t stay in the firing line, don’t say ‘calm down’, don’t accuse

The above add fuel to the fire

If you feel intimidated. It means you are being intimidated…

Remember how we react to others starts within ourselves

If we want to allow them to get to us, we will, if we allow otters to push us around they will..

If you are secure within yourself, confident and feel empowered you have no reason to feel intimidated. If you feel confident, and have high self esteem

Don’t expect to use logical thinking around  these people, they are not logical. They are opportunistic and unpredictable.

Your defences are your talent, skill and patience. Avoid ALL emotional charge and stick to the facts.

Powerful phrases;

” I understand you are concerned and I am aware it needs to be sorted out, however, shouting at me won’t solve the problem. It’s unsettling  and won’t  make me work any better ”

“You have no right to speak to me like that or use that tone with me. If you want to continue, please talk to me in a civil way so we can sort out the problem”.

“Help me understand why you think it’s ok to speak to me in that way’

Like many US cops say ” stick to the facts mam”

The meaning of manipulation in the dictionary is ‘Handle treat or use skilfully to ones own advantage unfairly or unscrupulously’

Points to remember;

  • Liars are one  small step up from manipulators, so just stick to facts with liars ..
  • Difficult people are neutralised by facts so always keep notes, It keeps them aware you are on the ball and not a pushover..
  • Unreasonable difficult people often go to any length to disguise their unreasonable behaviour with flattery and compliments, dont be duped and seduced..

If you feel inspired, please forward to friends, never know whose life you could change

It would be awesome to hear from you.  Make sure you leave a comment and let’s make sure that you get out there, take action & make it real!

Much love and appreciation.


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