When you start to be more assertive – it may sound agressive as its not something you are comfortable or practised at doing.
Why does this happen?
Because when you have spent years supressing how you really feel and not spoken your truth many of you will go from mute to brute
There is a part of you that wants to say it unfiltered. And there is another part of you that wants to stop speaking and slip back into the nice guy/girl role.
And those two parts of you can often oppose each other. Each day, if we are vigilant, we will make baby steps towards speaking up for ourselves in a firm, yet non agressive way.
Remember during times of change and transision we do swerve a little and thats ok. If you tried a strategy which didn’t work out, it’s important you dont tell yourself that you are a useless person and quit trying.
Do not assign your self-esteem as a person to the outcomes of your words and actions. It takes time when forming new habits and trying new behaviours. Remember what you practise you become.
It’s crucial to prepare and have sound emotional control when dealing with confrontations and be calm and grounded so you make your point succinctly, yet powerfully.
The goal is to not take it personally if it doesnt turn out the way you had hoped or expected, but just learn from it and move on and pat yourself on the back for taking the first step to being courageous.
In the next post we will explore your current style to see if it is competitive, collaborative, compromising, accommodating or avoiding. We will discuss what works and what doesn’t and who pushes your buttons….
I hope you find this helpful, inspiring, and useful.